1
00:00:01,084 --> 00:00:03,754
Morning. Morning.
Oh!
2
00:00:03,754 --> 00:00:07,549
Happy Halloween.
Hi, guys. Hey.
3
00:00:07,549 --> 00:00:09,718
Uh, Ice Spice?
Like.
4
00:00:09,718 --> 00:00:11,094
No. Box.
5
00:00:11,094 --> 00:00:12,471
Mm-hmm.
6
00:00:12,471 --> 00:00:13,639
It's Halloween
here at Abbott,
7
00:00:13,639 --> 00:00:17,351
and some of the costumes
can be a little risqué,
8
00:00:17,351 --> 00:00:19,686
so I have a box full of backups.
9
00:00:19,686 --> 00:00:21,438
I want everyone to have a shot
10
00:00:21,438 --> 00:00:22,731
at winning
the big costume contest
11
00:00:22,731 --> 00:00:24,107
that's later today,
12
00:00:24,107 --> 00:00:25,359
so I need to make sure
they're both
13
00:00:25,359 --> 00:00:27,986
age and fear appropriate.
14
00:00:27,986 --> 00:00:30,072
Aah! Oh, my God.
15
00:00:30,072 --> 00:00:31,782
No. Too scary.
Good Lord.
16
00:00:31,782 --> 00:00:33,659
Bin, please.
17
00:00:33,659 --> 00:00:35,494
Oh!
Little Black Panther.
18
00:00:37,246 --> 00:00:39,039
Oh.
Wakanda forever!
19
00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:40,207
Maybe just
Wakanda for the day.
20
00:00:40,207 --> 00:00:42,209
And maybe just keep
your mask on. All right?
21
00:00:42,209 --> 00:00:44,002
Okay. Who's next?
22
00:00:56,223 --> 00:00:58,183
Yes.
23
00:00:58,183 --> 00:00:59,434
Oh, sorry
I'm a little late.
24
00:00:59,434 --> 00:01:02,854
Oh, no problem, Nina.
Good to see you.
25
00:01:02,854 --> 00:01:04,982
So, uh, what do you have planned
for Halloween today?
26
00:01:04,982 --> 00:01:07,192
Every year, a teacher is
given the responsibility
27
00:01:07,192 --> 00:01:09,486
of turning the library
into a Halloween party
28
00:01:09,486 --> 00:01:11,738
that all of the students
can enjoy.
29
00:01:11,738 --> 00:01:15,284
And this year,
Abbott is keeping it classy,
30
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because all of the treats
are up to me--
31
00:01:18,620 --> 00:01:21,373
the number-one trick!
32
00:01:22,791 --> 00:01:25,127
Well, we're going to be
playing some ghostly games,
33
00:01:25,127 --> 00:01:26,962
decorating
some creepy crafts,
34
00:01:26,962 --> 00:01:29,798
and the main event,
bobbing for apples.
35
00:01:29,798 --> 00:01:31,091
You know, I was talking to
some of the parents
36
00:01:31,091 --> 00:01:31,925
at the PTA meeting...
Mm-hmm?
37
00:01:31,925 --> 00:01:33,135
...and we'd prefer if the kids
38
00:01:33,135 --> 00:01:34,428
didn't bob for apples.
39
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It's unsanitary.
40
00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:36,930
But she's been
doing that
41
00:01:36,930 --> 00:01:38,223
since before
I even got here.
42
00:01:38,223 --> 00:01:39,766
It's great.
43
00:01:39,766 --> 00:01:40,851
We'd prefer
you didn't do it.
44
00:01:40,851 --> 00:01:42,144
But it's
tradition.
45
00:01:42,144 --> 00:01:43,145
So is tipping,
and I'd prefer
46
00:01:43,145 --> 00:01:44,271
we didn't do
that either.
47
00:01:44,271 --> 00:01:46,523
Well, I will take that
under consideration.
48
00:01:46,523 --> 00:01:47,691
No consideration needed.
49
00:01:47,691 --> 00:01:48,608
Just don't do it.
50
00:01:50,235 --> 00:01:52,237
Can I offer you
a cupcake?
51
00:01:52,237 --> 00:01:53,613
Are you handing those
out to the kids?
52
00:01:53,613 --> 00:01:55,324
'Cause you can't do that.
53
00:01:55,324 --> 00:01:57,242
And we all know why.
54
00:01:57,242 --> 00:01:59,202
Do we?
I certainly don't.
55
00:01:59,202 --> 00:02:01,330
They could have
razor blades in them.
56
00:02:01,330 --> 00:02:03,081
Or worse, nuts.
57
00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:06,084
Happy Halloween.
58
00:02:06,084 --> 00:02:07,919
The happiest.
59
00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:11,757
Boy, you prank
your cousin one time
60
00:02:11,757 --> 00:02:13,342
by putting a razor blade
in a cookie,
61
00:02:13,342 --> 00:02:16,136
and all of a sudden,
it starts a nationwide hoax.
62
00:02:24,895 --> 00:02:26,563
I did a creepy scratch
'cause it's Halloween.
63
00:02:26,563 --> 00:02:27,731
Yeah, I didn't like that.
Oh.
64
00:02:27,731 --> 00:02:29,107
But I love this! Oh!
65
00:02:29,107 --> 00:02:31,068
Okay. Say the line.
66
00:02:31,068 --> 00:02:32,944
Bingo. Dino DNA.
67
00:02:32,944 --> 00:02:34,404
Oh, my God. Uncanny.
68
00:02:34,404 --> 00:02:35,947
It's like I'm
watching the movie.
69
00:02:35,947 --> 00:02:36,907
Okay,
now say your line.
Oh, okay.
70
00:02:38,658 --> 00:02:41,453
Aah! I'm an ancient mosquito
who drank dinosaur blood,
71
00:02:41,453 --> 00:02:42,996
and now I'm trapped
in amber.
72
00:02:42,996 --> 00:02:45,457
It's spot on!
We're such a movie couple.
73
00:02:45,457 --> 00:02:47,584
I know. We love film.
Uh-huh.
74
00:02:47,584 --> 00:02:49,711
Um, Pat Sajak.
75
00:02:49,711 --> 00:02:52,339
Wow. You got a little wheel
and everything.
Yeah.
76
00:02:52,339 --> 00:02:54,007
Although,
interesting choice for you,
77
00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:55,217
given his politics.
78
00:02:55,217 --> 00:02:56,426
Well, I've taken
a step back
79
00:02:56,426 --> 00:02:57,761
from Elon Musk's
internet,
80
00:02:57,761 --> 00:02:58,929
and now it sometimes
takes me weeks
81
00:02:58,929 --> 00:03:00,472
to find
these things out.
82
00:03:00,472 --> 00:03:01,932
So, you know, I figure,
if I didn't know...
83
00:03:01,932 --> 00:03:03,809
Yeah, you already bought
the suit when you found out.
84
00:03:03,809 --> 00:03:05,602
Yeah. No returns.
Yeah.
85
00:03:05,602 --> 00:03:07,312
Okay. Now, do us.
86
00:03:07,312 --> 00:03:09,940
Gregory is
sexy gumballs,
87
00:03:09,940 --> 00:03:12,067
and Janine
is that thing
88
00:03:12,067 --> 00:03:13,610
on top of an
exterminator truck.
89
00:03:13,610 --> 00:03:15,737
Very funny.
90
00:03:15,737 --> 00:03:17,656
Yeah, it's...
91
00:03:17,656 --> 00:03:19,199
Uh. You don't--
Do you really not
92
00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:21,618
know who we are?
Well, give me a hint.
93
00:03:21,618 --> 00:03:22,869
I'll give you a hint.
94
00:03:22,869 --> 00:03:24,246
Okay.
Chill chill, chill.
95
00:03:24,246 --> 00:03:25,872
It's a movie,
starts with a "J."
96
00:03:25,872 --> 00:03:28,083
"Jumanji!" No, that doesn't
make any sense.
97
00:03:28,083 --> 00:03:29,960
Um, "Jennifer's Body."
What?
98
00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:31,169
N-No. "Jurassic Park."
99
00:03:31,169 --> 00:03:33,046
I-I'm Mr. DNA,
and Janine
100
00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:34,923
is the mosquito trapped
in amber.
Oh.
101
00:03:34,923 --> 00:03:38,135
Ohhh, yeah.
Yeah, I see it.
Yeah.
102
00:03:38,135 --> 00:03:41,221
The best costumes
always require an explanation.
103
00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:44,307
Well, thank you, Jacob.
Yeah.
104
00:03:44,307 --> 00:03:46,643
First, we're gonna win
the Abbott costume contest
105
00:03:46,643 --> 00:03:48,270
later today.
106
00:03:48,270 --> 00:03:50,772
Then we're gonna win
the Rubensteins contest tonight.
107
00:03:50,772 --> 00:03:52,149
Get your broom out, brother.
108
00:03:52,149 --> 00:03:53,567
It's gonna be a sweep.
Mm-hmm.
109
00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:55,735
A sweetie sweep.
110
00:03:55,735 --> 00:03:56,778
Hey,
who wants a spin?
111
00:03:56,778 --> 00:03:58,196
Yeah, sure. I'll go.
112
00:03:58,196 --> 00:03:59,614
Uh-huh.
Okay.
113
00:03:59,614 --> 00:04:01,074
Yeah.
114
00:04:03,577 --> 00:04:05,203
Oh.
115
00:04:05,203 --> 00:04:07,622
Well, accurate. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
116
00:04:07,622 --> 00:04:09,040
That was fun.
Yeah.
117
00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:11,418
Who you supposed
to be?
118
00:04:11,418 --> 00:04:13,712
I kill vampires,
and I hate taxes.
119
00:04:13,712 --> 00:04:15,589
Ah, Blade.
120
00:04:15,589 --> 00:04:16,715
What about you,
Mr. Johnson?
121
00:04:16,715 --> 00:04:17,716
Give you a hint.
122
00:04:17,716 --> 00:04:18,925
I can ball out, boy,
123
00:04:18,925 --> 00:04:21,303
but I'd rather be in
Fallout Boy.
124
00:04:21,303 --> 00:04:23,722
He's emo
Jimmy Butler. Duh!
125
00:04:23,722 --> 00:04:25,974
There's not a costume
I don't get.
126
00:04:25,974 --> 00:04:27,976
Oh, okay.
Yeah, I-I get it.
127
00:04:29,519 --> 00:04:31,563
It hurts when
you lie, Jacob.
128
00:04:34,357 --> 00:04:37,611
Some days, I wonder if
anyone will ever understand me.
129
00:04:37,611 --> 00:04:40,363
Would anyone care for
a tasty cupcake?
Ooh.
130
00:04:40,363 --> 00:04:43,408
Yes!
Since apparently I cannot give
them to my students anymore.
131
00:04:43,408 --> 00:04:44,868
Yeah. Can't have that.
132
00:04:44,868 --> 00:04:46,995
Might have
razor blades in 'em.
133
00:04:46,995 --> 00:04:48,663
Then why are you
taking one?
134
00:04:48,663 --> 00:04:50,415
Well, I know you didn't put
razor blades in them.
135
00:04:50,415 --> 00:04:51,833
You ain't got that dog
in you.
136
00:04:51,833 --> 00:04:53,543
Then why would you say
they might?
137
00:04:53,543 --> 00:04:56,213
Since when might cupcakes have
razor blades in them?
138
00:04:56,213 --> 00:04:57,798
Since when can't kids
bob for apples
139
00:04:57,798 --> 00:04:59,174
because it's unsanitary?
140
00:04:59,174 --> 00:05:01,134
Oh, that I get.
It's objectively gross.
141
00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:04,596
Jacob,
you are Pat Sajak.
142
00:05:04,596 --> 00:05:06,973
"Wheel of Fortune"
is an institution.
143
00:05:06,973 --> 00:05:08,767
You, above all,
should understand
144
00:05:08,767 --> 00:05:11,228
the importance
of tradition.
145
00:05:11,228 --> 00:05:14,022
My students have
bobbed for apples
146
00:05:14,022 --> 00:05:16,024
since I started
here at Abbott,
147
00:05:16,024 --> 00:05:19,194
and not one time
has anyone reported sick!
148
00:05:19,194 --> 00:05:21,655
And now I don't have
a main event for the library.
149
00:05:21,655 --> 00:05:23,365
Well, you gotta figure out
how to fill that time.
150
00:05:23,365 --> 00:05:24,991
Mm. Wait, I got it.
151
00:05:24,991 --> 00:05:25,992
You can carve pumpkins
152
00:05:25,992 --> 00:05:27,244
and call 'em
black-o'-lanterns.
153
00:05:27,244 --> 00:05:28,620
Okay, I won't comment
on the name,
154
00:05:28,620 --> 00:05:30,038
but that's a bad idea.
155
00:05:30,038 --> 00:05:30,997
What about ghost stories?
156
00:05:30,997 --> 00:05:32,457
Roz,
you could do the voices.
157
00:05:32,457 --> 00:05:35,252
Oh, I am not reading for
three hours straight.
158
00:05:35,252 --> 00:05:36,962
Just like a cat.
159
00:05:36,962 --> 00:05:38,129
Ava and Melissa: Lazy.
160
00:05:38,129 --> 00:05:39,965
Now, you all,
it's not as if
161
00:05:39,965 --> 00:05:42,592
Roz could do
that many voices anyway.
162
00:05:42,592 --> 00:05:45,178
Okay, fine. I will do it.
163
00:05:45,178 --> 00:05:47,973
Wait.
164
00:05:47,973 --> 00:05:49,641
I'm waiting for Janine
so we can make our big entrance.
165
00:05:49,641 --> 00:05:51,101
It is a couples costume,
after all.
166
00:05:51,101 --> 00:05:52,519
Ready.
167
00:05:52,519 --> 00:05:53,520
Ready.
168
00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:58,775
Okay, okay. Don't tell me.
I'm 8 for 8 today.
169
00:05:58,775 --> 00:06:02,028
I'll get it.
You're...
170
00:06:02,028 --> 00:06:05,323
You are, um, teachers
in crappy costumes.
171
00:06:05,323 --> 00:06:06,741
I don't...
172
00:06:06,741 --> 00:06:08,702
Oh, you know what?
173
00:06:08,702 --> 00:06:10,745
We are standing on
the wrong side of each other.
174
00:06:10,745 --> 00:06:11,997
We talked about this.
Hold, please.
175
00:06:11,997 --> 00:06:14,457
A moment, sorry.
176
00:06:14,457 --> 00:06:15,959
Mosquito in amber
and Mr. DNA.
177
00:06:15,959 --> 00:06:17,377
From "Jurassic Park."
178
00:06:17,377 --> 00:06:18,837
Yeah, I got it earlier
in one guess.
179
00:06:18,837 --> 00:06:22,674
Yeah.
Oh, babies,
this is... terrible.
180
00:06:22,674 --> 00:06:25,135
What?
No, it is not.
181
00:06:25,135 --> 00:06:26,428
I mean, come on.
Ava gets it.
182
00:06:26,428 --> 00:06:29,222
Yeah, I get it.
I didn't say it was good.
183
00:06:29,222 --> 00:06:30,849
I know what rye bread is.
It's still nasty.
184
00:06:30,849 --> 00:06:33,101
Yeah, I mean, it doesn't even
make sense as a concept.
185
00:06:33,101 --> 00:06:34,603
Oh, that's 'cause
you don't know the movie.
Yeah.
186
00:06:34,603 --> 00:06:36,688
Oh, I'm sorry,
what don't I know about
187
00:06:36,688 --> 00:06:37,772
the oldest movie
in history
188
00:06:37,772 --> 00:06:39,608
to surpass $1 billion
in ticket sales?
189
00:06:40,650 --> 00:06:42,944
kids think
they're the only ones
190
00:06:42,944 --> 00:06:44,529
that know anything
about movies.
191
00:06:44,529 --> 00:06:45,780
You guys,
I'm sorry,
192
00:06:45,780 --> 00:06:47,616
but you don't know
what you're talking about.
193
00:06:47,616 --> 00:06:49,618
I mean, whose couples costume
is touching ours?
194
00:06:49,618 --> 00:06:51,911
Mine.
You are a single guinea pig.
195
00:06:51,911 --> 00:06:53,622
Mm-hmm.
196
00:06:53,622 --> 00:06:55,332
I say this
not as a hater,
197
00:06:55,332 --> 00:06:56,708
but as a connoisseur
of culture.
198
00:06:56,708 --> 00:06:58,543
When'd you start
coming in the lounge?
199
00:06:58,543 --> 00:07:01,296
The two of you don't stand a
chance at that costume contest.
200
00:07:01,296 --> 00:07:04,549
Well, I'll say it
as a hater. Hatily.
Y'all gonna lose.
201
00:07:04,549 --> 00:07:09,012
But you are going to do it
being so very... yourselves.
202
00:07:09,012 --> 00:07:10,347
And that's beautiful.
203
00:07:10,347 --> 00:07:12,432
Yeah. This costume's
very on brand.
Mm-hmm.
204
00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:13,350
And what does
that mean?
205
00:07:13,350 --> 00:07:14,851
She means you're
a headass couple
206
00:07:14,851 --> 00:07:16,102
doing headass things.
207
00:07:16,102 --> 00:07:17,437
Mm.
I'm sorry, "headass"?
208
00:07:17,437 --> 00:07:18,938
Look,
in this scenario,
209
00:07:18,938 --> 00:07:20,398
I think it refers to
two lovers
210
00:07:20,398 --> 00:07:22,984
who are in their own
slightly delusional,
211
00:07:22,984 --> 00:07:24,027
somewhat cheesy
bubble.
212
00:07:24,027 --> 00:07:25,487
You know,
unable to see
213
00:07:25,487 --> 00:07:26,905
how the outside world
is perceiving them.
214
00:07:26,905 --> 00:07:28,657
Stop explaining slang.
215
00:07:28,657 --> 00:07:29,866
And I know what it means,
Jacob.
216
00:07:29,866 --> 00:07:31,201
and we're
not it at all, so--
217
00:07:31,201 --> 00:07:33,578
Oh, I disagree,
Mr. Headass
218
00:07:33,578 --> 00:07:35,205
and Headass Trapped
in Amber.
219
00:07:35,205 --> 00:07:38,333
Oh, I'm seeing a heap
of headassery.
220
00:07:38,333 --> 00:07:40,710
Yeah, it's like you're in
your own little headass world,
221
00:07:40,710 --> 00:07:42,462
thinking you're
so cute.
Hey, we are cute!
222
00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:44,005
Cutest little headasses
I ever saw.
223
00:07:44,005 --> 00:07:45,215
We are not headass.
224
00:07:45,215 --> 00:07:47,008
Yeah?
Then what's this?
225
00:07:51,137 --> 00:07:53,264
Let me see! Let me see!
Show me, show me.
226
00:07:53,264 --> 00:07:54,057
Perfect.
227
00:07:57,519 --> 00:07:58,687
Yes!
Welcome, welcome, all.
228
00:07:58,687 --> 00:08:00,271
Come on in.
229
00:08:00,271 --> 00:08:01,523
So you guys decided
to still go
230
00:08:01,523 --> 00:08:02,774
with the bad costumes?
231
00:08:02,774 --> 00:08:03,942
They're not bad.
232
00:08:03,942 --> 00:08:05,777
Oh, I'm sorry, headass.
233
00:08:05,777 --> 00:08:09,114
So, a headass costume
would be like PBandJ...
Yes
234
00:08:09,114 --> 00:08:10,532
...or salt and pepper...
Mm-hmm.
235
00:08:10,532 --> 00:08:12,367
...or ketchup and mustard.
Yeah.
236
00:08:12,367 --> 00:08:13,910
Our costumes are
thoughtful.
Whip smart.
237
00:08:13,910 --> 00:08:15,745
High brow.
Headass.
238
00:08:18,623 --> 00:08:21,668
And he heard a voice that said,
239
00:08:21,668 --> 00:08:25,296
"Where is
my golden arm?"
240
00:08:26,631 --> 00:08:29,175
You've got it!
241
00:08:29,175 --> 00:08:30,969
Was that supposed
to be scary?
242
00:08:30,969 --> 00:08:33,012
Do Skibidi Toilet next!
243
00:08:33,012 --> 00:08:34,305
I got a ghost story
so scary,
244
00:08:34,305 --> 00:08:35,557
it'll make
your toenails curl.
245
00:08:35,557 --> 00:08:36,975
Okay!
246
00:08:36,975 --> 00:08:39,811
Vietnam, 1971.
247
00:08:41,312 --> 00:08:42,939
I was on vacation.
248
00:08:42,939 --> 00:08:45,358
Stop, Mr. Johnson.
This isn't working.
249
00:08:46,818 --> 00:08:49,237
My suffering continues.
250
00:08:50,238 --> 00:08:52,449
Um, I'm all out
of stories,
251
00:08:52,449 --> 00:08:54,826
and we got an hour
and a half to kill.
252
00:09:00,331 --> 00:09:04,210
Attention, everyone.
It's time to pivot.
253
00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:05,545
I don't care what
those parents say.
254
00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:07,213
They are not here
in the trenches.
255
00:09:07,213 --> 00:09:09,382
So we are bobbing
for apples.
256
00:09:09,382 --> 00:09:12,552
Hey, what are
y'all dressed as?
257
00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:16,014
Oh, well, I am the mosquito
in amber from "Jurassic Park."
258
00:09:16,014 --> 00:09:18,224
And I'm Mr. DNA.
What is that?
259
00:09:18,224 --> 00:09:20,810
A DNA strand
is the blueprint to
all living creatures.
260
00:09:20,810 --> 00:09:22,020
You know, from the movie.
261
00:09:22,020 --> 00:09:25,231
Why aren't you
dinosaurs?
262
00:09:25,231 --> 00:09:27,942
Well, because
the mosquito and Mr. DNA
263
00:09:27,942 --> 00:09:29,360
are the bedrock
of the film.
264
00:09:29,360 --> 00:09:32,739
You could have just been
dinosaurs.
265
00:09:32,739 --> 00:09:34,115
It's a valid point.
266
00:09:34,115 --> 00:09:35,533
I'm not gonna lie.
267
00:09:35,533 --> 00:09:37,327
I'm starting to think
we're not gonna win later.
268
00:09:37,327 --> 00:09:39,496
I mean, the teachers
not getting it is one thing,
269
00:09:39,496 --> 00:09:40,955
but the kids don't seem
to get it either, so--
270
00:09:40,955 --> 00:09:44,334
Hey. Do not let that kid
shake your confidence, okay?
271
00:09:44,334 --> 00:09:46,336
Yeah. Okay.
Have you seen
his drawings?
272
00:09:46,336 --> 00:09:48,671
They're ass.
They are.
They're ass.
273
00:09:48,671 --> 00:09:50,340
They're really bad.
274
00:09:50,340 --> 00:09:51,591
He doesn't know
how to shade...
Mnh-mnh.
275
00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:53,843
...or stay in the lines
or crosshatch.
276
00:09:53,843 --> 00:09:55,929
What does he know about
art and culture?
You're right.
277
00:09:55,929 --> 00:09:57,347
Jerk.
Nothing.
278
00:09:57,347 --> 00:10:00,558
Now it is time to bob
for apples!
279
00:10:00,558 --> 00:10:02,560
You go first.
280
00:10:02,560 --> 00:10:04,145
There you go.
281
00:10:05,814 --> 00:10:09,818
Mrs. Howard, our parents
said we can't do that.
282
00:10:09,818 --> 00:10:12,237
I understand.
283
00:10:12,237 --> 00:10:14,072
And that is why
we are not going to
284
00:10:14,072 --> 00:10:16,533
tell any
of our parents.
285
00:10:16,533 --> 00:10:18,785
After all,
it's Halloween,
286
00:10:18,785 --> 00:10:21,579
a day for deceit.
287
00:10:21,579 --> 00:10:25,291
So shhhhh!
288
00:10:25,291 --> 00:10:26,751
Actually, that was
just an excuse.
289
00:10:26,751 --> 00:10:28,002
I don't want to do it.
290
00:10:28,002 --> 00:10:30,171
Okay, fine.
Sit it out.
291
00:10:30,171 --> 00:10:31,506
More apples
for the rest of us.
292
00:10:31,506 --> 00:10:32,966
I don't
want to either.
293
00:10:32,966 --> 00:10:34,175
Wait.
Why not?
294
00:10:34,175 --> 00:10:35,927
Because the water
goes up my nose,
295
00:10:35,927 --> 00:10:37,720
and it's gross,
and it's germy.
296
00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:39,430
And we all just had
ringworm!
297
00:10:39,430 --> 00:10:41,432
Come on.
This is gonna be fun!
298
00:10:41,432 --> 00:10:44,519
It's a tradition.
My students have been doing this
299
00:10:44,519 --> 00:10:46,813
since when I first
started teaching.
300
00:10:46,813 --> 00:10:48,857
Yeah, but that was
like a thousand years ago.
301
00:10:48,857 --> 00:10:52,068
Mr. Gregory's class did it
last year, and they had a blast.
302
00:10:52,068 --> 00:10:53,528
Go ahead. Tell them
how much fun it was.
303
00:10:53,528 --> 00:10:55,655
I didn't say anything
last year,
304
00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:58,408
but I think
it's nasty.
305
00:10:58,408 --> 00:10:59,868
Okay. You're dressed
as a toilet, kid.
306
00:10:59,868 --> 00:11:01,202
Which should tell you
how gross it is.
307
00:11:01,202 --> 00:11:02,370
Okay, fine.
308
00:11:02,370 --> 00:11:05,582
I will show you just
how much fun it can be.
309
00:11:06,291 --> 00:11:07,917
Oh, wow.
Oh, she's going in.
310
00:11:07,917 --> 00:11:10,503
Yeah! How do you like
them apples?
311
00:11:10,503 --> 00:11:13,131
Don't come back up
'til you get all of 'em, Barb!
312
00:11:13,131 --> 00:11:15,300
Whoo!
313
00:11:16,759 --> 00:11:19,012
See how much fun
this is, kids?
314
00:11:19,012 --> 00:11:22,515
I'm gonna get one the next time.
315
00:11:22,515 --> 00:11:23,558
Oh, sure,
316
00:11:23,558 --> 00:11:25,351
let's just splash water
everywhere
317
00:11:25,351 --> 00:11:27,812
in the only carpeted room
in the school.
318
00:11:29,063 --> 00:11:30,315
What is Melissa doing?
319
00:11:30,315 --> 00:11:32,317
Hey, don't worry
about that, okay?
320
00:11:32,317 --> 00:11:33,985
It's go time.
Okay. How do I look?
321
00:11:33,985 --> 00:11:35,194
Like we're about to win
a costume contest.
322
00:11:35,194 --> 00:11:35,987
Right?
Mm-hmm.
323
00:11:35,987 --> 00:11:37,614
It's time for the pairs.
324
00:11:37,614 --> 00:11:40,116
All my dynamic duos,
come on out.
325
00:11:40,825 --> 00:11:42,577
Corn and Scarecrow,
326
00:11:42,577 --> 00:11:45,747
Mr. DNA and
Mosquito Trapped in Amber,
327
00:11:45,747 --> 00:11:48,416
and M-Ms. Schemmenti!
328
00:11:48,416 --> 00:11:50,752
Ms. Schemmenti,
where's your partner?
329
00:11:50,752 --> 00:11:52,921
I'm so glad you asked that,
Andrew.
330
00:11:52,921 --> 00:11:59,093
Presenting Sweet Cheeks
and... Ms. Schemmenti!
331
00:12:02,972 --> 00:12:06,059
Oh, my God!
I don't know who's who!
332
00:12:06,059 --> 00:12:07,977
What?
It-- It's gimmicky.
333
00:12:07,977 --> 00:12:09,270
Yeah, I mean,
it's derivative.
334
00:12:09,270 --> 00:12:10,313
I've definitely
seen it before.
335
00:12:10,313 --> 00:12:12,482
Right?
Where did she
get that wig?
336
00:12:12,482 --> 00:12:14,734
And the winner is,
by unanimous decision,
337
00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:18,529
without a doubt,
Ms. Schemmenti and Sweet Cheeks!
338
00:12:18,529 --> 00:12:19,822
Excuse me?
339
00:12:22,450 --> 00:12:26,829
Oh, my God. Oh my God.
Thank you so much.
340
00:12:26,829 --> 00:12:28,456
It took me 14 hours to sew
341
00:12:28,456 --> 00:12:30,917
this little pleather jacket,
and if we had lost,
342
00:12:30,917 --> 00:12:34,754
I would have been in a really
dark place, so thank you.
343
00:12:34,754 --> 00:12:35,922
Thanks so much, y'all.
344
00:12:37,507 --> 00:12:39,384
Okay. But we would have
gotten second, right?
345
00:12:39,384 --> 00:12:40,635
No, you wouldn't have.
346
00:12:40,635 --> 00:12:41,970
The scarecrow and the corn
had it in the bag.
347
00:12:41,970 --> 00:12:44,222
What can we say?
348
00:12:44,222 --> 00:12:45,682
It lacks a certain
je ne sais quoi.
349
00:12:45,682 --> 00:12:47,600
Oh, yeah,
says the goat.
350
00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:50,812
That's right.
The GOAT, Muhammad Ali.
351
00:12:50,812 --> 00:12:54,399
Oh.
352
00:12:54,399 --> 00:12:55,942
That's really good.
Yeah, that's very good.
353
00:12:55,942 --> 00:12:58,278
That's very good.
Andrew,
that's very creative.
354
00:12:58,278 --> 00:13:01,280
Our next category is
unpopular teachers
355
00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:03,324
that insisted on
participating anyway.
356
00:13:03,324 --> 00:13:06,786
We've got...
357
00:13:06,786 --> 00:13:08,746
Y'all see 'em.
358
00:13:08,746 --> 00:13:10,540
Mr. Hill,
who are you supposed to be?
359
00:13:10,540 --> 00:13:12,625
Oh, I'm, uh--
I'm-- I'm Pat Sajak.
360
00:13:12,625 --> 00:13:13,918
Who's that?
361
00:13:13,918 --> 00:13:15,336
Yeah. You guys probably
don't know him.
362
00:13:15,336 --> 00:13:18,006
It's-- It's fine. I will take
my "L" expeditiously.
363
00:13:18,006 --> 00:13:21,384
Of course they know him!
The man is an icon!
364
00:13:21,384 --> 00:13:23,386
Okay, come on,
show of hands.
365
00:13:23,386 --> 00:13:27,098
Who knows
Mr. Patrick Sajak?
366
00:13:27,098 --> 00:13:29,267
Barb,
they don't know him.
367
00:13:29,267 --> 00:13:31,185
We just need to jog
their memory.
368
00:13:31,185 --> 00:13:33,730
Why is she
standing up?
No idea.
369
00:13:33,730 --> 00:13:35,523
Come on, y'all!
370
00:13:35,523 --> 00:13:39,193
Pulling up the TV tray
with a piping hot pot pie
371
00:13:39,193 --> 00:13:41,195
to watch the Wheel!
372
00:13:41,195 --> 00:13:43,531
It's an American tradition.
373
00:13:43,531 --> 00:13:46,743
Like bobbing for apples.
Spin the wheel, Jacob.
374
00:13:46,743 --> 00:13:48,286
Yep.
375
00:13:48,286 --> 00:13:50,621
Harder!
376
00:13:50,621 --> 00:13:52,081
Ha, ha!
377
00:13:52,081 --> 00:13:54,709
Oh, kids.
You don't know this?
378
00:13:54,709 --> 00:13:56,210
It's probably because
he doesn't even host
379
00:13:56,210 --> 00:13:57,045
"Wheel of Fortune"
anymore.
380
00:13:57,045 --> 00:13:58,129
What you talking about, boy?
381
00:13:58,129 --> 00:13:59,797
Well, he's retired.
382
00:13:59,797 --> 00:14:02,759
41 years. 8,000 'sodes.
He had a good run.
383
00:14:02,759 --> 00:14:04,552
Well, what are they
going to do without him, huh?
384
00:14:04,552 --> 00:14:06,721
Spin the wheel themselves?
Well, they always, uh--
385
00:14:06,721 --> 00:14:08,056
Jacob, leave the stage
and come back
386
00:14:08,056 --> 00:14:09,432
so that you can receive
the level
387
00:14:09,432 --> 00:14:12,351
of applause and appreciation
that you deserve.
388
00:14:12,351 --> 00:14:13,561
Okay.
Mm-hmm!
389
00:14:13,561 --> 00:14:15,146
Barb, let's just
let this go,
390
00:14:15,146 --> 00:14:16,355
and then later, we'll get
a drink with the kids.
391
00:14:16,355 --> 00:14:17,774
I do not need a drink,
Melissa.
Okay.
392
00:14:17,774 --> 00:14:22,111
I need these children
to recognize a cultural icon.
393
00:14:22,111 --> 00:14:24,822
Yes! Ha, ha, ha!
394
00:14:26,616 --> 00:14:29,786
I said clap
for Pat Sajak,
395
00:14:29,786 --> 00:14:32,497
or Halloween
is canceled!
Oh.
396
00:14:37,668 --> 00:14:39,837
Oh!
397
00:14:39,837 --> 00:14:41,297
Maybe I do need a drink.
398
00:14:41,297 --> 00:14:42,090
Yeah.
Sorry.
399
00:14:49,931 --> 00:14:52,225
Hey!
400
00:14:52,225 --> 00:14:54,227
This costume is itchy.
The last costume wasn't itchy.
401
00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:55,895
I have no access
to my pockets.
402
00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:58,397
So, we realized
that our original costumes
403
00:14:58,397 --> 00:15:00,942
were going over
people's heads.
404
00:15:00,942 --> 00:15:02,110
Too high brow.
Yeah.
405
00:15:02,110 --> 00:15:03,694
So we stopped
at Spirit Halloween
406
00:15:03,694 --> 00:15:04,695
and picked up
something else.
407
00:15:04,695 --> 00:15:06,739
With these costumes,
408
00:15:06,739 --> 00:15:08,074
which are actually
headass,
409
00:15:08,074 --> 00:15:09,826
we have a chance of winning,
which we want to do.
410
00:15:09,826 --> 00:15:12,328
Yeah, 'cause we want
people to look at us and go,
411
00:15:12,328 --> 00:15:14,038
"They go good together."
Mm-hmm.
412
00:15:14,038 --> 00:15:18,167
'Cause we do go get together,
like peanut butter and jelly.
413
00:15:18,167 --> 00:15:19,669
GEandJ.
414
00:15:21,295 --> 00:15:24,340
Oh! Peanut Butter,
Jelly!
415
00:15:24,340 --> 00:15:26,008
Nom, nom, nom!
416
00:15:26,008 --> 00:15:27,051
Thank you.
417
00:15:27,051 --> 00:15:28,052
I'm not even
a protein.
418
00:15:28,052 --> 00:15:29,220
I'm basically
just candy.
419
00:15:29,220 --> 00:15:30,388
I told you
we could switch.
420
00:15:30,388 --> 00:15:31,806
No, it's fine,
it's fine.
421
00:15:31,806 --> 00:15:33,307
How do I get
to my phone?
422
00:15:33,307 --> 00:15:35,685
I don't know why not being able
to bob for apples
423
00:15:35,685 --> 00:15:37,186
bothered me so much,
424
00:15:37,186 --> 00:15:39,272
but it really did.
425
00:15:39,272 --> 00:15:42,692
I don't know.
I-- I just don't know.
426
00:15:42,692 --> 00:15:44,277
Barb, you lost
a tradition.
427
00:15:44,277 --> 00:15:46,404
Yeah. That's right.
428
00:15:46,404 --> 00:15:48,739
Okay. So, my family
used to barbecue on the lawn
429
00:15:48,739 --> 00:15:50,783
of the old Coal and Iron
Police headquarters.
430
00:15:50,783 --> 00:15:54,120
And then, one year,
a burning coal
431
00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:56,664
mysteriously found its way
into the building,
432
00:15:56,664 --> 00:15:58,499
and it burned down.
433
00:15:58,499 --> 00:16:02,003
But the next year, we found
a new site to desecrate,
434
00:16:02,003 --> 00:16:03,337
because that's
what you do.
435
00:16:03,337 --> 00:16:05,131
Yeah, but I've been
bobbing since
436
00:16:05,131 --> 00:16:06,674
before I can remember.
437
00:16:06,674 --> 00:16:10,511
I was so good at it.
They used to call me Bob-ra.
438
00:16:13,097 --> 00:16:15,016
I'm not going to
forget this.
439
00:16:15,016 --> 00:16:16,851
The day I stopped
doing something
440
00:16:16,851 --> 00:16:18,561
I don't even
remember starting.
441
00:16:18,561 --> 00:16:21,898
Well, tonight, we'll just
start a new tradition, okay?
442
00:16:21,898 --> 00:16:24,358
'Cause we keep on pushing.
443
00:16:24,358 --> 00:16:26,819
We adjust.
444
00:16:26,819 --> 00:16:30,781
Yeah, 'cause things
never stop changing.
445
00:16:33,868 --> 00:16:35,620
Pat Sajak
reporting for duty.
446
00:16:35,620 --> 00:16:37,663
Pat Sajak.
Pat Sajak.
447
00:16:37,663 --> 00:16:39,290
Did you know--
Yeah, I-I know.
448
00:16:39,290 --> 00:16:41,334
I know.
I know now, okay?
449
00:16:41,334 --> 00:16:43,586
But not until after
I made the wheel.
450
00:16:43,586 --> 00:16:45,087
And what am I supposed
to do with this thing?
451
00:16:45,087 --> 00:16:47,048
Just, like, throw it out?
Look at the craftsmanship.
452
00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:53,721
Hi! Uh, peanut butter.
And jelly.
453
00:16:53,721 --> 00:16:55,681
Peanut butter,
your tag's still on.
454
00:16:55,681 --> 00:16:57,892
Really?
I don't-- Where?
455
00:16:57,892 --> 00:17:01,854
I don't see it.
Oh, wait. Spin around.
Okay. Hold on.
456
00:17:01,854 --> 00:17:04,440
Wait, wait.
Don't pop it.
457
00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:07,109
Gregory, look at
that couple's costume.
458
00:17:08,611 --> 00:17:10,780
Ash Wednesday.
459
00:17:10,780 --> 00:17:11,906
That's headass.
460
00:17:11,906 --> 00:17:14,325
It is.
461
00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:17,828
Uh, we'd like to change
our submission, please.
462
00:17:17,828 --> 00:17:19,497
Um, hey, what are you doing?
463
00:17:19,497 --> 00:17:20,915
Look, look, look,
look, look.
464
00:17:20,915 --> 00:17:22,625
We need to go back
to our original costumes.
465
00:17:22,625 --> 00:17:24,460
But no one will get it.
We'll get it.
466
00:17:24,460 --> 00:17:26,212
And that's all that
matters.
467
00:17:26,212 --> 00:17:29,257
Look, as long as we are
in our own bubble together,
468
00:17:29,257 --> 00:17:32,802
no one could ever pop it.
469
00:17:35,888 --> 00:17:37,223
So, can we change
our submission?
470
00:17:37,223 --> 00:17:38,724
Imagine if I said no.
471
00:17:38,724 --> 00:17:40,560
I'm going to be
Mr. DNA.
472
00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:42,603
And I am going to be
a mosquito trapped in amber.
473
00:17:42,603 --> 00:17:44,188
Whatever.
474
00:17:44,188 --> 00:17:45,147
Did you write it down?
Did you write it down?
475
00:17:45,147 --> 00:17:46,774
Yeah.
I'm writing it.
476
00:17:46,774 --> 00:17:49,735
Okay.
477
00:17:49,735 --> 00:17:52,488
All right, who wants to bob
for apple schnapps?
478
00:17:52,488 --> 00:17:53,698
Yep. Two right here.
479
00:17:53,698 --> 00:17:54,949
Right here,
right here.
480
00:17:54,949 --> 00:17:56,742
Okay. There you go.
Thanks, sweetheart.
481
00:17:56,742 --> 00:17:59,537
Okay. Come on, Bob-ra,
let's see what you got.
482
00:17:59,537 --> 00:18:00,538
Ready?
483
00:18:03,416 --> 00:18:04,959
Whoo!
484
00:18:04,959 --> 00:18:08,087
Oh!
Oh, boo!
485
00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:10,464
Are we still doing
nurses costumes?
486
00:18:10,464 --> 00:18:13,092
Come on. That's not even
a sexy one.
487
00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:15,928
Melissa, I think that person
is an actual nurse.
488
00:18:15,928 --> 00:18:18,097
I said what I said.
489
00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:21,225
See, this could be
our new tradition.
490
00:18:21,225 --> 00:18:21,976
Two more.
491
00:18:21,976 --> 00:18:24,937
The next contestants are...
492
00:18:24,937 --> 00:18:27,106
Uh, what?
493
00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:28,399
Oh, my God,
I don't even know.
494
00:18:28,399 --> 00:18:30,318
I knew he wasn't gonna
write it down.
495
00:18:30,318 --> 00:18:31,986
It's fine. I know.
Just go. Just go.
Why didn't he
write it down?
496
00:18:31,986 --> 00:18:33,237
Let's go, let's go, let's go.
It's okay.
Look at this.
497
00:18:33,237 --> 00:18:34,155
I mean,
you can tell that we--
No, no, no, no, no, no.
498
00:18:34,155 --> 00:18:35,656
Hey.
Hi every--
Ow.
499
00:18:35,656 --> 00:18:37,325
Oh.
I'm so sorry.
500
00:18:38,492 --> 00:18:40,328
You might
recognize us from
501
00:18:40,328 --> 00:18:44,665
Steven Spielberg's masterpiece,
"Jurassic Park."
502
00:18:46,917 --> 00:18:50,379
I'm the incredibly clever way
of providing exposition,
503
00:18:50,379 --> 00:18:51,255
Mr. DNA.
504
00:18:51,255 --> 00:18:52,673
He looks just like it.
505
00:18:52,673 --> 00:18:57,428
And I-- I--
am a riveting plot device,
506
00:18:57,428 --> 00:18:59,930
the mosquito
trapped in amber.
507
00:18:59,930 --> 00:19:03,184
Oh.
Okay.
508
00:19:03,184 --> 00:19:04,769
Well, I love it!
509
00:19:04,769 --> 00:19:06,395
Hear, hear!
510
00:19:06,395 --> 00:19:08,564
Innovative.
Would you cut it out?
511
00:19:08,564 --> 00:19:10,316
Thank you,
persons we don't know.
512
00:19:10,316 --> 00:19:12,568
Okay, let's hear it
for the effort.
513
00:19:12,568 --> 00:19:13,527
No!
514
00:19:15,404 --> 00:19:16,447
Okay. Who's next?
515
00:19:21,452 --> 00:19:22,953
Whoa-ho-ho-ho!
516
00:19:22,953 --> 00:19:26,040
Next up, we have
Grace Jones with a sword!
517
00:19:28,459 --> 00:19:30,002
I'm Blade, bitch.
518
00:19:32,421 --> 00:19:34,965
Shing!
Shing!
519
00:19:41,389 --> 00:19:43,099
Who wants to bob
for more shots?
520
00:19:43,099 --> 00:19:44,725
Oh, yes.
Right here.
521
00:19:44,725 --> 00:19:46,686
I already paid for 'em.
Take one.
522
00:19:46,686 --> 00:19:47,853
Get you one, Barbara.
523
00:19:47,853 --> 00:19:48,896
You know,
I'm gonna head out.
524
00:19:48,896 --> 00:19:50,523
What? Are you okay?
525
00:19:50,523 --> 00:19:53,401
Oh, this has been fun.
I'm just a little tired.
526
00:19:53,401 --> 00:19:55,027
Do you need me to walk
you to your car?
527
00:19:55,027 --> 00:19:56,445
This sword
only looks fake.
528
00:19:56,445 --> 00:19:58,698
Thank you.
I'll be fine.
529
00:19:58,698 --> 00:20:00,491
Okay.
You all get home safe, now.
530
00:20:00,491 --> 00:20:02,201
We will.
531
00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:05,204
Oh, my God,
Sweet Cheeks!
532
00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:06,497
Look for Sweet Cheeks!
Look for him!
533
00:20:06,497 --> 00:20:08,916
Hey, everybody,
look for a guinea pig!
534
00:20:08,916 --> 00:20:10,167
It looks like me,
but little.
535
00:20:10,167 --> 00:20:11,794
Can you see anything?
536
00:20:11,794 --> 00:20:13,254
Nope. Wait a minute.
Never mind!
537
00:20:13,254 --> 00:20:14,880
Didn't bring him!
As you were.
538
00:20:16,215 --> 00:20:18,968
I didn't bring him!
To Sweet Cheeks!
539
00:20:20,761 --> 00:20:22,888
It certainly was
a different Halloween for me.
540
00:20:22,888 --> 00:20:25,307
Tried a few new things.
541
00:20:25,307 --> 00:20:27,393
That's the interesting thing
about traditions.
542
00:20:27,393 --> 00:20:29,228
I mean,
the first time you do them,
543
00:20:29,228 --> 00:20:31,397
it's just something
you're testing out.
544
00:20:31,397 --> 00:20:33,065
There's something so beautiful
545
00:20:33,065 --> 00:20:35,025
about unwittingly
discovering things
546
00:20:35,025 --> 00:20:39,864
that will become so important
to you and those you hold dear.
547
00:20:39,864 --> 00:20:41,282
On the bright side,
548
00:20:41,282 --> 00:20:43,701
I heard that Pat Sajak
is going to be hosting
549
00:20:43,701 --> 00:20:45,870
"Celebrity Wheel of Fortune,"
550
00:20:45,870 --> 00:20:49,206
and, well, maybe I can replace
Vanna White.
551
00:20:50,750 --> 00:20:51,292
What do you think?
552
00:20:53,711 --> 00:20:55,588
Yeah,
but you're a ghost every year.
553
00:20:57,047 --> 00:20:59,175
Daywalker!
554
00:21:04,305 --> 00:21:06,182
Bloodsuckers!
555
00:21:07,641 --> 00:21:10,686
Shing!
556
00:21:10,686 --> 00:21:12,354
Whoosh!
557
00:21:12,354 --> 00:21:13,647
Aah!
558
00:21:14,857 --> 00:21:16,734
Yaaah!
559
00:21:19,278 --> 00:21:20,613
All right.
See y'all at school tomorrow.
560
00:21:21,780 --> 00:21:23,407
Aah!
561
00:21:25,784 --> 00:21:28,454
- Captions by VITAC--